


Strength Fallen

by SkyFireForever



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Misunderstandings, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Gwaine (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25554397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyFireForever/pseuds/SkyFireForever
Summary: Courage, Strength, and Magic. An inseparable trio. But what happens when Strength isn’t as strong as he thinks he is, Courage loses his bravery, and Magic isn’t enough to save the day?
Relationships: Gwaine/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84





	1. Magic Revealed

Merlin, Arthur, and Gwaine were on a quest. A quest of grave importance, at least of importance to Arthur. After Morgana’s betrayal, Uther was in bad shape, but Arthur believed that there was a way to return him to normal. There was said to be a flower that could return anyone or anything to its previous state. Arthur was convinced that this flower had the power to return Uther to normal. 

Merlin wasn’t as convinced of this flower’s power as Arthur was. It was Uther’s mind that was broken, not his body. A mind was much harder to repair. 

Still, Merlin followed his prince as faithfully as he always did, this time accompanied by Gwaine. Gwaine was always a pleasure to have around and was probably Merlin’s closest friend besides Lancelot. Merlin enjoyed every moment spent with him.

“So, tell me, Merlin,” Gwaine began. “Where exactly is our prince leading us?” 

Merlin shrugged, riding beside Gwaine on his own horse. “Beats me. He said that the location of the flower is a secret and that he can’t risk telling a mere servant.” He rolled his eyes. “But I think he just doesn’t have a clue where he’s going either.” 

“You do know that I can hear you?” Arthur asked from where he was riding ahead of the two dark-haired men. 

“No, you can’t.” Merlin claimed, a grin on his face. It was a stupid game he enjoyed playing. As if he claimed that Arthur couldn’t hear him, that would make it so. 

“Merlin, just because you say that doesn’t mean it- wait.” Arthur held up his hand to signal for Gwaine and Merlin to stop in their tracks. Arthur looked around suspiciously. “You hear that?” 

“Hear what?” Merlin frowned, not hearing anything. 

“I think you’re imagining things, princess.” Gwaine suggested. “I don’t hear anything.” 

“Exactly.” Arthur said, clearly exasperated by the two of them. “There’s no sound. No nothing. Isn’t that suspicious to you?” 

Now that Merlin was paying attention to it, it was odd. Usually there would be the sound of birdsong at least, if nothing else. He glanced at Gwaine, who just shrugged. Arthur rolled his eyes and urged his horse forward bit by bit before finally hearing approaching footsteps. He drew his sword just as bandits began pouring from the hills above them. 

The bandits attacked, slashing Arthur’s horse right out from under him, causing him to dive to the ground and roll to safety to avoid being crushed. Merlin quickly dismounted his own horse to hide behind a tree where he could better see the battle play out and use his magic if necessary. 

He watched as Gwaine single handedly took on several bandits, swinging and slashing his sword. He was a skilled fighter, even if his hair sometimes got in the way. Gwaine was almost making a game of it, appearing entirely unworried about the large threat the bandits posed. 

Merlin turned his attention to Arthur, who was struggling a great deal more than Gwaine, with twice as many bandits converging on him. Merlin watched as one bandit took aim at Arthur’s undefended back. Merlin’s eyes flashed gold and he sent all of the bandits flying in different directions, knocking most of them unconscious or killing them. 

Gwaine whirled around and his eyes fell on Merlin. Merlin swallowed, knowing that there was no keeping his secret for much longer. It was obvious that magic had been used to finish off the bandits and Gwaine knew that he hadn’t been the one to use it. 

“You-” Gwaine was cut off by Arthur marching towards them. 

“What was that?” The prince demanded, looking between the both of them. “That was magic. Who did that?” There was a look of betrayal in his eyes, clearly hurt by the idea of one of his friends using magic. 

Merlin opened his mouth to speak, to confess, but he was cut off by Gwaine stepping forward. “It was me.” He said, standing up straighter. “I used magic.” 

Merlin stared at his friend in shock. What was Gwaine saying? Why was he taking the blame for Merlin? It didn’t make any sense. “Gwaine…” 

“There’s no need to defend me, Merlin.” Gwaine clapped the warlock on the shoulder. “I know my crime.” 

Arthur stared at Gwaine in disbelief. “You have magic?” He demanded, only to be met with a short nod from the knight. 

“Are you going to execute me?” Gwaine asked, his face suddenly serious, yet calm. He didn’t appear to have any fear regarding his own death. 

“I..I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Arthur shook his head and turned away from the pair, clearly deeply disturbed and distressed. He walked away with a shake of his head, preparing to mount his horse before realizing that it was dead. He instead mounted Merlin’s horse. “For now, we ride on.” He said, his voice devoid of all emotion. 

Merlin glanced at Gwaine, who helped him onto his own horse. Gwaine rode in front with Merlin in the back and they rode after Arthur. 

“Why did you do that?” Merlin asked quietly, low enough so that Gwaine could hear, but Arthur could not. 

Gwaine merely shrugged. “Couldn’t have you getting killed, now could I?” He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Gwaine, he could have killed  _ you.  _ He still might.” 

“I have a knack for getting out of trouble.” Gwaine insisted. “You have a knack for getting into it.” He pointed out. “Better me than you, at any rate.” 

Merlin fell silent, unable to believe that his friend was so willing to die for him. 

Little did any of them know that a bandit who had survived stood behind a tree, watching as they went along. He turned behind him to look another group of bandits. “Tell our master that I found Emrys.” 


	2. Banishment

They never did end up finding the flower. They searched for the entire day until sundown, riding in complete silence. Arthur was clearly furious and betrayed, but seemingly had nothing to say. Merlin rode with Gwaine, wishing to speak with him more, but fearing that Arthur might overhear. 

Eventually, they set up camp for the night, that instruction being the first words to come from Arthur’s lips in hours. He glared at Gwaine as the man did as he was told, seemingly frustrated by the fact that Gwaine was still behaving as a knight under his prince. He opened his mouth to snap something at him before closing it and shaking his head. He had Merlin set up his tent as far away from Gwaine as possible and immediately slunk into it without a word. 

Merlin swallowed, finally left alone with his friend by the fire. “You shouldn’t have done that.” He told him softly, being sure to keep his voice low enough so that Arthur couldn’t hear. “You’re in danger now. Arthur probably won’t ever trust you again.” 

Gwaine shrugged. “That’s a small price to pay for your life.” His voice was so genuine despite his cocky smile. Merlin felt his heart sink. 

“You’d risk your life for me?” 

“Without hesitation.” Gwaine’s face was suddenly serious, looking at Merlin with a warmth in his eyes. Merlin’s words caught in his throat and he couldn’t think of a response. He just looked away and into the fire. Gwaine shifted beside him. “So, how long have you been practicing magic right under our prince’s nose, huh?” 

Merlin shook his head. “I was born with it. I never started off meaning to use it. I just started using it to protect him and then…” He trailed off. “I couldn’t stop. It’s such a useful tool to help him with.” 

“You only use it to protect him, then? You don’t use it selfishly?” 

Merlin cracked a smile. “Well, I might use it to make things a bit easier on myself.” He admitted. “And I use it when he needs to be taught a lesson.” 

Gwaine laughed so loudly that Merlin had to hush him to prevent Arthur from waking. “I’m sure he doesn’t appreciate that.” He chuckled. 

Merlin shrugged. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” 

“No, but it could hurt you.” The conversation suddenly returned to the serious truth of the matter. “Magic is illegal in Camelot. You should be more careful.” 

“Coming from you?” Merlin tried to tease, noting Gwaine’s usual reckless behavior. 

“Yes, coming from me.” Gwaine confirmed, his tone serious. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.” Merlin looked back at the fire, but Gwaine grabbed his wrist, causing Merlin to look back at him. “I’m serious. I don’t know what I- what Camelot would do if it lost you.”

There was a tense moment of them just staring into each other’s eyes, with Merlin holding his breath. Gwaine’s hand slowly came up to rest on Merlin’s cheek, cupping his face like he was something valuable, precious. Merlin had never had anyone handle him this way before. 

“Gwaine, I-” 

But he didn’t have a chance to say another word before Gwaine’s lips were being pressed to his own. Merlin allowed his eyes to flutter closed and he leaned into the kiss, not knowing where to put his hands. They kissed for a long while, but for what only felt like a few moments. Eventually, Gwaine pulled away, searching Merlin’s face for any doubt. There was none. 

“You should get some rest.” Gwaine suggested. “We likely have a long day of searching for this flower ahead of us tomorrow.” 

“Right.” Merlin said, certain that his cheeks and ears were red. He was sure that he wouldn’t be able to sleep after the excitement that came from kissing his best friend, but he could try. He settled into his sleeping roll and closed his eyes, thinking on what had just happened. He decided he would talk to Gwaine more about it in the morning and the two of them could decide exactly what they wanted to come from this. 

Merlin was awoken by the sun shining brightly in his eyes. He squinted and sat up, his back sore from sleeping on the unforgiving ground. He yawned and stretched, hoping to relieve some of the tension in his back, to no avail. He blinked a few times and looked around, noticing that Arthur and Gwaine were already setting up camp. Merlin removed himself from his sleeping roll and started to join them, his mind lingering on the kiss he and Gwaine had shared the night before. 

“Are we going to continue our search, sire?” Merlin asked Arthur, wondering if it would give him and Gwaine more time to talk whilst sharing a horse. 

Arthur shook his head. “There’s nothing to be found here.” He decided. “You and I shall be returning to Camelot.” Merlin and Gwaine shared a look. 

“And Gwaine?” 

Arthur took a breath and stood up straighter. “As king regent, I hereby banish Gwaine from Camelot.” He announced without even looking at the knight in question. “He will return to Camelot on punishment of death.” He turned away and resumed packing everything onto the horses. 

Merlin’s heart sank. Banished. Gwaine was banished. There went any chance of the two of them going any further than the kiss they shared. Merlin approached Arthur, keeping his voice down so Gwaine wouldn’t hear. “You can’t be serious.” 

“I passed my sentence.” Arthur said firmly. “He’s banished.” 

Merlin shook his head. “He’s a knight of the round table.” He insisted. “He’s saved your life more than once.” 

“Which is why I’m not taking him back to Camelot.” Arthur gave Merlin a look. “If he returns to Camelot, he will have to stand trial. If he stands trial, there’s only one sentence I can pass.” He glanced at Gwaine for the briefest of seconds. “I don’t want to see him executed.” 

“But-”

“Would you like to join him, Merlin?” He snapped. “I saw the two of you last night. I don’t know what you were talking about, but I saw for myself just how much you care for him.” If Merlin didn’t know any better, he’d almost say that Arthur sounded jealous. 

Merlin swallowed, seriously considering the offer. Gwaine was his friend. No, he was more than that now. Merlin cared very deeply for him. He didn’t want to leave his side. However, Merlin knew that his place was in Camelot, with Arthur. He slowly shook his head. “No, sire.” He said. 

“Good. Now say your goodbyes and let’s go.” 

Merlin slowly walked towards Gwaine, sighing heavily. Gwaine shot him an easy smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Hey, don’t look so glum.” He pulled Merlin in for a hug. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again.” 

“We better.” Merlin returned the hug tightly, pulling away just enough to force a smile at the knight. 

“Take care of yourself, you hear?” Gwaine lightly punched Merlin’s shoulder. “And take care of that prince of yours.” 

Merlin nodded. “I will.” 

“Good.” 

“Merlin!” Arthur had already mounted his horse and was waiting for his servant to finish up his goodbyes so they could leave. 

Merlin hesitated a moment before pressing a kiss to Gwaine’s cheek. He mounted his horse and rode after Arthur, looking back at Gwaine, who stood in the clearing. It was only after Merlin had ridden so far that Gwaine didn’t think he could see him that he allowed his face to fall. 


	3. Gwaine's Return

Merlin hadn’t been certain that he would ever see Gwaine again. He wanted to, of course, but he wouldn’t even know where to find him. Gwaine could be anywhere, so long as it was outside of Camelot’s borders. 

For the first week after Gwaine’s banishment, Merlin found himself growing depressed and miserable. He used magic to help him through most of his chores and he lounged around his room whenever he wasn’t actively working. 

Gaius took note of Merlin’s melancholy and snapped his fingers in front of his nephew’s face. “Merlin!” He shouted, snapping Merlin out of the trance he was in. Gaius sighed. “I know you’re upset about what happened to Gwaine,” He began. “But you can’t let it impact your life so greatly.” 

“How can I not, Gaius?” Merlin questioned with a sad look in his eye. “It’s my fault that he was banished. He took the fall for me. It’s all my fault.” 

Gaius shook his head. “Sir Gwaine made his choice. He chose to protect you. You can’t blame yourself for that.” 

“Can’t I?” Merlin grumbled. 

Gaius shook his head and sighed. “No, Merlin. You can’t. You can’t blame yourself for other people’s choices.” He rested a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “You need to live your life without him.” 

Merlin sighed, knowing that Gaius was right, but not wanting to admit it. He just missed Gwaine so terribly. The only people who knew the truth about what had happened were Gaius and Lancelot. Everyone else simply knew that Gwaine had done  _ something _ to warrant banishment. Arthur refused to tell a soul what it was and advised Merlin to do the same. 

The first week passed and Merlin found himself feeling better. He was able to pay more attention to his duties, was able to laugh and joke with Arthur again. He was healing. A few months after Gwaine’s banishment, Merlin would say that he’d finally healed from the loss that Gwaine left in his heart. 

Which was, of course, when Gwaine returned. 

It was Percival who approached the prince with the news. 

“Sire, there is someone here to see you.” Percival announced. “But you might not like who it is.” 

That caused Arthur to frown. “Who is it?” 

“I think it’d be better just to show you.” Percival suggested, nodding to one of the guards to lead whoever it was into the room. 

Gwaine strode in, his head held high and an easy smile on his face. “Hello, princess.” He winked at Arthur, who stared at the former knight in disbelief. 

“What are you doing here, Gwaine?” Arthur demanded. “I warned you that you ever stepped foot in Camelot again-”

“That you would chop my head off, yes, I know.” Gwaine rolled his eyes, causing Merlin to crack a smile. He was still the same, easy-going Gwaine that he had always known. But suddenly, his face grew serious. “I would not have come if it wasn’t important.” 

Arthur looked skeptical, but he leaned back in the throne. “What is it?” 

“It’s my family.” Gwaine said. “They’re being harassed. There are these people looking for someone called Emrys.” That made Merlin’s blood run cold. “They think it’s me. But last I checked, my name certainly isn’t that weird.” He glanced at Merlin, almost as if signaling to him that he had figured out Emrys’ true identity. “They threatened my mother and they-” He took a deep breath. “They took my sister.”

Arthur looked him over, studying him. “You’ve never had anything positive to say about your sister.” His voice was cold, emotionless. He was trying to distance himself from this situation. 

“Sure, I insult her a lot and I mess with her, but she’s still family.” He insisted. “I hate her, but I still love her.” He tried to explain. “That’s just how family is.” 

“Hm.” Arthur considered, looking over Gwaine carefully. “What exactly are you asking me to do?” 

“I’m asking as a kn- as a former knight that you let me borrow some of your knights so that I can attack these bastards and get my sister back.” Gwaine told him. “That’s all I ask. Help me get my sister back and I’ll be out of your hair. You have my word.” 

Arthur seemed to consider the offer, looking at Gwaine for a long moment. Merlin thought that he would grant Gwaine’s request, thought that he would jump at the opportunity to help an old friend. However, Arthur’s next words blew Merlin away. 

“No.” Arthur’s tone was firm and held no room for argument. “I can not allow that. You are no longer a knight and no longer a citizen of this kingdom.” He looked Gwaine dead in the eyes. “You have until sunrise tomorrow to leave before you will be arrested and will stand trial for your crimes.” 

Gwaine appeared taken aback, clearly not expecting this. “Arthur…” 

“Dismissed.” Arthur rose from his throne and left the room without a word. Merlin chased after him. 

“Arthur, you have to reconsider.” He insisted. “Gwaine was our friend. These people took Gwaine’s  _ sister _ . We have to help him.” 

“I do not collaborate with sorcerers, Merlin.” Arthur said coldly. “My decision is final.” Merlin stared after him, his heart sinking. 


	4. Missing

Merlin wanted to be angry with Arthur. He wanted to be furious, wanted to scream at him, wanted to shout that he  _ needed _ to help Gwaine. But Merlin knew that Arthur’s mind couldn’t be changed. 

It hurt: Knowing that Gwaine’s pain was all his fault. If Gwaine hadn’t covered for Merlin, then Arthur would be eager to help him. Gwaine had been Arthur’s friend, after all. If Gwaine hadn’t covered for Merlin, it was likely that these people wouldn’t have any reason to believe that Gwaine was Emrys at all. He wouldn’t be being harassed by them. 

Merlin made up his mind that night to help Gwaine, no matter the cost. He wouldn’t allow Gwaine to be punished in his place. He packed up a bag and snuck towards Percival’s room, where he knew Gwaine was staying. He knocked thrice on the door and Percival opened the door for him. 

“Merlin?” Percival looked at him quizzically. “What are you doing here?” 

Merlin tried to push past Percival, but the man was much too large and strong, blocking the servant’s way. He sighed. “I’m here to talk to Gwaine.” 

“What makes you think he’s here?” Percival asked, attempting to look innocent. Merlin just fixed him with a look. Percival was the one who had known that Gwaine was there in the first place, he was the one who was loyal to his friends more than he was loyal to the royal family. He’d do anything for his friends, of that, Merlin was certain. Percival sighed and opened his door wider to allow Merlin to enter. 

Merlin ducked inside, spotting Gwaine sitting shirtless on the bed. There was no sleeping roll on the floor, which gave Merlin pause. Were Gwaine and Percival sharing a bed? 

Gwaine looked up at Merlin and his face broke into a smile. “Merlin.” He rose to his feet and engulfed Merlin in a tight hug, squeezing the life out of him. “It’s good to see you.” 

“It’s good to see you too.” Merlin admitted, returning the hug and being unable to fight back the smile that rested on his lips. “I missed you.” 

“And I you.” Gwaine grinned. “What brings you here?” 

“What? Seeing you isn’t enough?” Merlin joked lightly, poking fun at his old friend. Friend? Or were they something more? Had that kiss meant anything? Merlin wasn’t sure and he didn’t want to bring it up. In a more serious tone, he added the truth. “I’m here to help.” He said in a low voice. “I’m going to come with you to rescue your sister.” 

Gwaine quirked up an eyebrow. “Oh, are you now?” 

Merlin nodded quickly. “I’m going to help you in any way I know how.”

“I’m honored.” Gwaine grinned. “We’ll have an adventure, just like the good old days, huh?” 

Merlin nodded. “Just like the good old days.” He confirmed. 

Gwaine smiled. “Perfect.” He glanced at Percival. “Leave us for a moment.” He requested, shooing the taller man out of the room. Percival left quietly and respectfully. 

“So, what’s going on with you and Percival?” Merlin asked with a raised eyebrow, trying to fight past the jealousy that bubbled up within him. 

Gwaine simply shrugged. “He’s a good friend.” 

“Just a friend?” 

“Why? You jealous?” Gwaine teased before stopping. “My God, you  _ are _ jealous!” 

“I am not!” Merlin’s face burned bright pink and he quickly looked away. 

Gwaine chuckled and turned Merlin back to face him. “There’s no need for that jealousy.” He assured him. “I still have plenty of room in my bed for you.” He teased. 

“Just your bed?” Merlin asked, immediately regretting the words as soon as they left his lips. He swallowed, but didn’t look away, wanting to know the answer. 

Gwaine sighed and shook his head. “Oh, Merlin. What am I going to do with you.” He chuckled lightly and pressed a brief kiss to Merlin’s lips, but the warlock pulled away. 

“No, I’m serious.” Merlin insisted. “What am I to you? Am I just someone you can mess around with?” There was a level of hurt in his voice that he couldn’t quite mask. 

“No.” Gwaine said immediately. “It’s not like that.” He took Merlin’s hand in his own. “Merlin, I just don’t want you regretting this.” 

“Why would I regret it?” 

“Because you have no idea what it’s like to be with someone like me.” He sighed, running his free hand through his hair. “I’m not noble like Lancelot. I’m not a leader like Arthur. I’m not exactly your type.” 

“My type?” Merlin laughed. “Gwaine, you’re exactly my type. I can promise you that.” He assured him. “What is this really about?” 

Gwaine sighed heavily. “I just doubt I’m good enough for anything serious with you.” He admitted. 

A frown pulled at Merlin’s lips. “That’s not true.” He reached up to brush Gwaine’s hair back. “You’re perfect, Gwaine.” 

“Perfect?” Gwaine let out a hollow laugh. “I don’t think anyone’s ever told me that before.” 

“Well, now they have.” Merlin said firmly. “And I mean it.” He cupped his face, gently rubbing his thumb against his skin. 

Gwaine looked skeptical, but there was a flicker of hope in his eyes. “Thank you.” He said softly before clearing his throat. “Meet me tomorrow morning at sunrise by the tower on the border. I’ll meet you there and we can go save my sister.” He squeezed Merlin’s hand. “Okay?” 

Merlin nodded. “Alright.” He agreed, pressing a kiss to Gwaine’s lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He rose to his feet and left, casting one last glance at Gwaine. 

The next morning before sunrise, Merlin was prepared to go. He wrote up a note to leave for Gaius before making his way to the meeting spot he and Gwaine had agreed upon. He stood at the tower, waiting for Gwaine to show up. He waited. 

And waited. 

And waited. 

The sun was high in the sky and there was still no sign of Gwaine. Could something have delayed him? Merlin made his way back to Camelot and knocked on Percival’s door. 

Percival opened it and let Merlin inside. “Hey.” He greeted. “Have you seen Gwaine?” 

“What? No. That’s why I’m here. I thought you would know where he was.” Merlin frowned. 

Percival shook his head. “I was supposed to go with the two of you.” He informed him. “But Gwaine took a walk last night and never returned.” 

Merlin’s heart sank. Gwaine was missing. 


	5. The Search

Merlin informed Arthur of Gwaine’s status as a missing person, but the prince hardly seemed concerned. At this point, he had Agravaine whispering in his ear, insisting that sorcery was an unforgivable crime. Agravaine played with the possibility that Gwaine simply fled without telling anyone.  _ Sorcerers were so hardly trustworthy, after all.  _

It made Merlin’s blood boil. He wanted to shout, wanting to scream at the top of his lungs that  _ no, no, Gwaine wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t just leave without warning _ , but he kept his mouth shut and nodded along. He couldn’t exactly argue without being seen as an accomplice to a sorcerer. 

That night, while Arthur was preparing for his bath, he looked at Merlin. “I know you’re worried about Gwaine.” He acknowledged. “I know what he means to you.” 

“No, you don’t.” Merlin said bitterly. How could Arthur possibly understand? He didn’t know what it meant for Merlin to have someone who knew his secret, who loved him despite it. Of course, Arthur didn’t even know about Merlin’s secret in the first place. 

“Merlin.” Arthur sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know he was your…” He paused, trying to find the right word. “Friend.” 

“He’s more than that and you know it.” Merlin snapped, continuing to fill Arthur’s tub with water, the liquid splashing angrily. 

Arthur paused, his eyes glued to Merlin’s back. “Right.” He said after a long moment. “My point is, he betrayed you. He betrayed all of us because that’s what sorcerers do.” He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. 

Merlin laughed, a hollow, bitter sound. “No, he didn’t.” He shook his head. “Your bath is ready, sire.” 

“Merlin.” Arthur seemed at a loss as to what to do. When the servant moved to march out, Arthur grabbed his arm. “Merlin, listen to me. I don’t like this any more than you do.” 

“If you didn’t like it, you could have listened to him!” Merlin snapped. “You could have helped him! But now he’s gone and I don’t have a clue as to how to find him!” He was angry, furious, but not with Arthur. 

Arthur sighed. “Merlin, just...I need you to calm down.” He instructed. “I’m sorry that it came to this, I am. But magic has no place in Camelot.”

Merlin shook his head. “Gwaine does. Gwaine deserves to be here. He’s a knight. He’s saved your life, Arthur.” 

“That doesn’t matter.” Arthur sounded almost sad. “My father is still king, even if he’s not the one actively ruling.” He sat on top of his desk. “I must respect his wishes.” 

Merlin sighed and just left the room, unable to handle being around Arthur at that moment. Gwaine was  _ missing  _ and Arthur wanted to do nothing about it just because he was supposedly a sorcerer. Gwaine didn’t even have magic! Now he could be in danger and there was nothing Merlin could do about it. 

Weeks went by with Merlin constantly fretting and barely being on speaking terms with Arthur. Arthur noticed his servant’s sour mood and tried to reason with him, tried to make him understand where he was coming from, but Merlin didn’t listen, didn’t want to listen. 

It took a month for Arthur to finally see reason. 

“Merlin.” Arthur jogged up to his manservant as Merlin was doing the laundry. Merlin merely ignored him. “ _ Merlin.”  _ Arthur repeated. “Merlin, you’re going to want to hear what I have to say.” 

“What do you want?” Merlin asked in a snippy tone, really not in the mood to deal with the prince that day. 

“One of our spies is in league with a group of sorcerers hidden within Camelot.” The prince began. “She says that about a month ago they brought in someone called Emrys.” 

Merlin’s head snapped up. “That’s who the people harassing Gwaine’s family thought he was.” It was who Merlin was. 

Arthur nodded in confirmation. “If we can find this group, we might be able to find Gwaine.” 

“So you admit that he didn’t run away?” 

“I admit that it’s a possibility.” Arthur corrected. “We’re sending patrols out to find these sorcerers. If Gwaine has been taken by them, we’ll find him.” 

Merlin broke into a grin. “Thank you thank you thank you!” He threw his arms around Arthur in a hug, which startled the prince, who stumbled backward. Merlin quickly pulled away. “Sorry.” He murmured, his cheeks and ears turning pink. 

“It’s alright.” Arthur patted Merlin reassuringly on the shoulder. “Now, will you stop being angry with me?” 

Merlin shrugged. “Perhaps.” Though all anger at Arthur had dissipated. They would find Gwaine. They would bring him home. 

It took another month to find him. 

In that month, things between Arthur and Merlin changed. Arthur admitted one drunken night that he wasn’t in love with Guinever, that his heart belonged to someone else. When questioned on the matter further, he refused to say who it was. Merlin was confused, for he had genuinely believed Arthur to have eyes for only Gwen. It gave him pause enough to wonder if Arthur was under the influence of another enchantment. 

He couldn’t find any evidence supporting this theory, however, so Merlin simply allowed it to be as it was. Merlin couldn’t help wonder who this person was, where she was from, and how Arthur had met her. 

One night, while Merlin was changing Arthur’s sheets, the prince came to him. “Merlin.” He said quietly, taking Merlin by the wrist and turning him to face him. “I need to speak with you.” 

“About what?” The warlock questioned, looking at his prince curiously. 

“Something important.” Arthur breathed. “Merlin, ever since seeing you with Gwaine, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head.” He admitted. “Merlin, I-” 

There was a knock at the door and Arthur jumped back, away from Merlin. “Enter.” He said. 

Lancelot entered the room. “Sire, we believe the sorcerers have been found.” 

Merlin’s face lit up. If the sorcerers had been found, then it was likely that Gwaine would be found as well. 


	6. Finding Gwaine

Arthur gathered a party consisting of the knights of the round table plus Merlin to take down the sorcerers. They rode out as soon as they heard the news, making their way to what was supposedly an abandoned castle. As soon as they arrived, it became apparent that it wasn’t as abandoned as they were led to believe. There were guards stationed at every entrance, all of them on the lookout for someone who would get in their way.

Merlin wanted to just storm the place, wanted to burst in and find Gwaine, damn the consequences. But Arthur held back. He had a plan. He always did. He gave the orders and had Leon and Lancelot create a diversion while he, Percival, and Elyan took out the guards from behind. It was a perfect plan and went off without issue. They then moved into the castle. 

The castle appeared mostly empty once they were inside. There were no armies, no magical artifacts, not even another living soul. The knights, Arthur, and Merlin snuck through the castle, searching for any sign of Gwaine. They found none. They decided to split up and search different areas of the castle. 

Merlin was growing desperate, feeling agitated and confused. Why would there be guards outside if there was nothing here? Then, he remembered a spell that would reveal hidden things to the eye of the user. He checked to make sure that no one was around before muttering the incantation. Suddenly, he spotted a hidden passageway behind one of the bookshelves. He crept towards it and pushed it aside, revealing the passage. He looked around before ducking into it, following it to the end.

As he approached the end of the passage, he heard screaming in a familiar voice. Gwaine. Merlin began increasing his pace, jogging briskly and then running down the passage until he reached the room at the end. Standing there was a group of sorcerers and then, chained to the wall, was Gwaine. He looked terrible. His hair had gotten longer and his body was thin and frail, ribs jutting out beneath his skin. He was panting heavily and didn’t even look up as Merlin entered. 

“Gwaine!” Merlin called, but the former knight didn’t respond. “What have you done to him?” He shoved past the sorcerers and went to Gwaine’s side, cupping his face. “It’s okay. I’m here now. I’m going to get you out of here.” He assured him. 

Gwaine slowly lifted his head, though it appeared to cause him great pain to do so. “Merlin?” He breathed out quietly before suddenly jerking away. “No.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “You can’t trick me. I know he isn’t real.” 

Merlin’s heart plummeted. “Of course I’m real. I’m right here.” He reached for him, but as soon as he made contact with his skin, Gwaine jumped back as if he’d been burned. 

“He lied. He claimed he was Emrys.” One of the sorcerers spoke. “He would not tell us who the real Emrys was. He needed to be persuaded to help us find him.” 

“You want to know who Emrys is?” Merlin asked, his eyes flashing gold. “Well, you’ve just found him.” He used his magic to send all of the sorcerers flying back at a high-speed pace, slamming them against the walls and killing them all. He didn’t know why they were looking for him and he didn’t care. All he cared about was getting Gwaine out of this place. 

He used his magic to undo the shackles binding Gwaine to the wall, causing him to collapse onto the floor. Merlin quickly knelt by his side, pulling him into his arms. “Gwaine? Gwaine. Come on.” He pulled one of Gwaine’s arms over his shoulders and wrapped one of his own arms around Gwaine’s middle before hoisting him to his feet. Gwaine was practically dead weight, but he was frighteningly light. Merlin had to drag him out of the room and down the passageway, making his way out of the secret exit. 

“Arthur!” Merlin called. “Arthur, I found him!” 

Arthur and the knights all came rushing into the room, Leon and Elyan taking Gwaine from Merlin. Worry was clearly written across Merlin’s face as he reluctantly released Gwaine over to them. “We need to get him back to Camelot.” Arthur said. “Quickly!” 

As they returned to their horses, Gwaine continued mumbling incoherent things about how they weren’t real and how he wanted them to get away from him. They loaded him on the back of Arthur’s horse before taking off back towards Camelot. Along the way, Gwaine fell unconscious. 

They immediately took him to Gaius to look over. Gaius insisted that Gwaine would need to stay at least overnight so that Gaius could properly look over him. Merlin decided to stay by his side, refusing to leave no matter what anyone said. He sat by his bedside, holding his hand and trying not to cry. It was hard to see strong, brave Gwaine appear so weak and frail. Merlin took deep breaths, reaching out to brush Gwaine’s hair back. 

“You’re going to be okay.” Merlin said softly. “Everything is going to be okay.” He leaned forward to press a kiss to Gwaine’s forehead. He couldn’t believe that Gwaine appeared so broken. He just wanted him to wake up and smile that roguish smile at him, wanted him to kiss him, to hold him close. He just wanted some form of reassurance that everything would be okay.

That night, Merlin fell asleep by Gwaine’s bedside, his head resting against the bed. He slowly awoke when the figure in the bed began moving. Merlin lifted his head and watched as Gwaine opened his eyes. He saw the fear within them and quickly took Gwaine’s hand. “Hey. Hey, I’m here.” He told him gently. “It’s alright. You’re back in Camelot. You’re safe now.” 

But Gwaine snatched his hand away and scooted so far away that he toppled off of the bed. “Stay away from me!” He shouted, clamoring to get away from Merlin, terror in his gaze. 

“Gwaine! Gwaine, calm down. Calm down, it’s me. It’s Merlin.” He quickly moved to his side. “It’s me. I’m here.” But as Merlin approached him, Gwaine scrambled away, wincing in pain all the while. 

Gaius awoke and hurried over to see what all the ruckus was about. He carefully knelt beside Gwaine. “Merlin, I think you should go.” He advised. 

Merlin stared with tears in his eyes, but did as he was told, fleeing the room and the man he thought he might love. 


End file.
